Dear Alexandra
by shannyfish
Summary: Maxwell tries to win Alex back with the only option that's left to him. #13 - Count Me In series
_"I'm dedicating every day to you
Domestic life was never quite my style_

 _When you smile, you knock me out, I fall apart_

 _And I thought I was so smart"_

 _~ Dear Theodosia from "Hamilton"_

* * *

When Alex arrived home, she'd grabbed her mail on the way up to her apartment. She wasn't really thrilled to look at the stack that she'd been ignoring in her box for the last few days. It was likely just all bills and grocery ads. So when she got into her apartment, she just dropped them all on the counter and just left them.

She dropped her purse and she went to her room to take off her shoes and to change into something more comfortable. Kara had been extremely concerned about her and as much as Alex had tried to brush it off, she knew that it wasn't going to get her sister to stop until Alex actually acknowledged what was going on. So, they were going to have pizza and watch whatever was on their Netflix queue. It would just be the two of them and none of that required shoes or regular clothes or even bras. No, Alex was going to be happy and comfortable, especially if she was going to have to talk about her emotions with Kara.

So, she'd changed into pajamas and had decided that she'd just pass the time waiting for Kara by picking up here and there. There really wasn't that much of a mess since she really wasn't at her apartment that much to make a mess to begin with. Her eyes fell on the stack of mail that she'd left on the counter and she sighed.

Dragging the trash can with her, she leaned against the counter and started to go through it. First, she pulled the grocery ads out and left out just the two stores that she actually shopped at. Normally she didn't care about the sales, but sometimes it was just good to know where the better deal was...also, sometimes that helped her to compile a list of her own. All the other ads went into the trash. She fished out all the junk mail, tearing it up, and then depositing it with the ads she didn't need. That left her with just bills-

She froze as she stared at the bottom envelope. The reason that she hadn't dubbed it as junk mail was because of the size of the envelope and the color. It was larger than a standard letter envelope and much closer to being square. The envelope was bright and cheery and she just stared at it for a long while. Her name was written there as 'Alexandra Danvers'. Normally the only person who referred to her as that was her mother, but it wasn't her mother's handwriting and she couldn't think of an occasion for her mother to have a reason to send her a card.

Holding it between her fingers, she unconsciously rubbed the envelope and then cringed as her still slightly burnt fingertips protested. Alex turned over the letter and stared at the back flap were the return address was.

Maxwell Lord.

Sighing, she took a moment. She'd told him no more flowers, no calling her, no texting, no e-mailing, no showing up...but she hadn't barred him from actually dropping a letter in the mailbox. Turning her back to the counter, she leaned against it and turned her head upward to stare at the ceiling and just breathe.

It had been a few days.

This had been the first time that he'd contacted her since then. Alex looked back at the envelope and opened it. She had to. At the very least, she had to know what he said. That didn't require her to respond...it especially didn't require her to respond right away. There was no confirmation that she'd received it or any time and date stamp letting Max know exactly when she was reading it.

Inside was a beautiful card that was floral and beautiful and just said 'Thinking of You' on the front of it. When she opened it, she found a piece of folded up paper. The card itself was standard and although her name was written at the top on the inside and Max had signed his name at the bottom, it wasn't personalized beyond that. Setting the envelope and card down on the counter, she unfolded the piece of paper.

 _Dear Alexandra,_

 _I know that you want time and space and everything that I struggle to give to you. I started to see a counselor, so there's that. I'm trying to work on things, but one of the things that was suggested is that I write to you. Of course my counselor suggested not sending or giving this to you, but the truth is...I think it's important for you to know my thoughts and feelings when it comes to you. Why else write a letter? Especially a letter written this way. I don't know anyone who still writes letters by hand, but here I am doing it._

 _Something has changed within me and I honestly am struggling to figure out how to exactly handle that, especially when it comes to my affection for you. You know my feelings for you, Alex. You know that you are in my thoughts constantly. I heard what you said when I came over the other day and I've been thinking about it since then. I've been trying to think about what happened, what I did wrong, what I maybe did right, and what I can do going forward...and I'm just not talking about our relationship...but the company._

 _I want to be that better person. I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to push that forward, but I have some ideas. We deal in tech and besides not villainizing your sister on television, I'm not sure what other ways I can use my tech to change the world, but I'm working on it. Maybe I need to figure out more medical applications or ways to clean water in foreign countries...or probably a dozen different things that are just needed that don't involve aliens… That's hard for me, but I'm willing to do the work. There's a vision out there, I just have to find it, and refine it._

 _I hope that you're doing okay. I just want you to know that I'm here. I know you don't want to talk to me right now, but I'm here for you if you need me. I'm always be here. I don't even know how you're coping with everything, but I'm just so grateful that you have so many people that you can call family and rely on. Please consider writing me back._

 _Eternally yours,_

 _Max_

It wasn't anything special, but at least he seemed clear. Alex was glad that he was seeing a counselor. She wondered if it was someone who worked for the DEO or some private counselor. She knew that she could just ask, but at the same time...she didn't want to pry. All she had wanted was for Max to work on coping and getting better with what had happened and he was doing that. He had even acknowledged that he'd gone about things wrong and that was a huge step for anyone. Alex folded the piece of paper back up and held it to her chest.

As much as Max drove her crazy, she still cared about him. She'd actually found herself missing him. Sometimes she would even dream of him, they'd be running through the old DEO facility, but she'd never see what was chasing them. It was probably better that way.

There was a knock at the door and Alex jumped in response. Glancing at the clock, she knew that it had to be Kara. Shoving the paper into the card and the card into the envelope, she shoved them into a cupboard that she knew that Kara would never open. Even though she knew that there was going to be a mandatory feelings sharing session coming, this was just something that she didn't want to share.

At least not now.

Moving quickly to the door, she opened it to find her sister already eating a piece of pizza as she waited. Alex didn't say anything, but sighed and tilted her head slightly.

"What?" Kara asked. "You took too long."

"Obviously." Her sister entered and with the door locked, Alex was ready for their sisterly bonding time. "I have wine," Alex offered as she motioned towards the fridge.

"That's not _fair_ …"

 _"I'm_ the one that's going to be forced to talk about _my feelings_ , so it's _definitely_ fair."

"You could go to one of the DEO shrinks…"

"Yeah, there's a _reason_ why I agreed to this whole talking to you and talking to J'onn thing...in lieu of that...but that doesn't mean that I don't need wine." Kara just eyed her and Alex shrugged.

"What do you do at the DEO when there's no wine?"

"Adler supplies me with donuts."

"She's _truly_ a saint."

"I know," Alex commented. "We must protect her at all costs...and Benanti...because she's adorable."

"That's what she calls me…"

Alex just grinned at her sister when she went to grab a piece of pizza. "It's true."

"I'm not really sure how to take that…"

"It's a compliment."

"Is it really?" Kara asked as she eyed her.

Alex just grinned. "Come on, let's get to the whole feels talk, so that we can watch TV…"

"You get to pick."

"Oh, we're watching 'Killjoys'."

"You _do_ realize we've already watched that."

"We're watching it _again_."

"I'm not _complaining_...I'm just stating a fact."

"We're watching it _again_ ," Alex said with a bright smile.

* * *

The End.


End file.
